If you are going through a divorce with a partner you share children with, then working out how you will parent going forward is crucial. Most articles you read will tell you that you need to put your differences to one side and work together to raise the children. That is known as co-parenting, and while it is the ideal option, it is not always a realistic one.
Parallel parenting is a lesser-known alternative. Here is how it works.
Reducing the opportunity for conflict
Parallel parenting is about reducing the opportunities for disagreements and conflicts to occur. It’s about reducing the number of times you consult each other on matters and reducing the contact you have with each other. This can be vital in providing a smoother experience for all when communication tends to lead to conflict or hurt.
You will have to discuss and agree on some of the big matters between you. For instance, you can’t have your child swap school week by week depending on who they are with. But you can each handle the more minor decisions in your own way.
When the child is with you, you can determine what time they go to bed, what punishment they face if they misbehave, and whether the outfit they want to wear to the party is appropriate or not. When the child is with their other parent, they can make all those decisions for the duration of the time the child is with them.
While it will be more challenging for a child to live under two sets of rules than one, it’s not as difficult as you might imagine and most kids would opt for that than to have their parents in constant conflict. Learning more about parenting and custody options is wise if you are about to divorce.